Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
