just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
