the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
