Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
