i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
