How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
