I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
