Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
