I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
