Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
