well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
