420 ftw
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
