K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
