dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
