I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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