I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
