Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
