with your own penis?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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