woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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