Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
