You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
