let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
