and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
