OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
