The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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