is wine microwaveable?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
