i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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