Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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