I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
