you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
