So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
