my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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