FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dicks are not precious.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
