are you still at the devil's house?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize