she was so not down for the gang bang
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
