The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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