It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
