How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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