I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
