I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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