True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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