The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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