Don't you send me to vm
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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