i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
