That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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