weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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