Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
