Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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