The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you would pick up someone in the library
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize