he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
