I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
wow bdsm is so cute
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
