It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I understand Curling. That high.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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