the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
