batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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