can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
