Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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