Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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