then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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