omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
