We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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